Letting our light shine

Do you remember how I mentioned that we were doing Light Em Up? Maybe I just mentioned it on Facebook. I don't remember now. The closer I get to 40 the less I remember! Well I thought I would give an update on that went.

For the last several years we have tried to incorporate Random Acts of Kindness into our Advent Calendar. This year we found Light Em Up and used this link for our Advent Calendar. The first thing we did was sit down and plan some things to do. We tried to do one everyday but it just wasn't possible. The things we did though blessed us more than the receiver I think.

We let people know that they were important to us and why. The various reactions let me know that I should do this so much more because it can really change the course of someone's day. The kids loved this and wanted to find more people to tell them they appreciated them. This was so simple and yet probably the most meaningful thing we did.

We surprised the church secretary with chocolates and a posterboard that let her know how much we love and appreciate her. The kids also walked around the church and passed out truffles to the people that were cleaning that day. The adults loved it and the kids loved it. Plus they got to skip some school that day.

We made a poster letting the trashman know that we appreciate him. He has brought our trashcans up  to the house when my grandma was dying, taken them down to the street when we forgot and even came and got boxes from the side of the house and threw them away for us. He is awesome! We taped the sign and a bag of kisses to the top of the trashcan. That day they had 2 trucks running and the wrong guy came on our side. We said oh well he probably needs it too. But then we saw him park his truck and run with the sign and candy down to our regular guy. Our regular couldn't stop smiling and neither did the extra guy. The next week we had a hand written note taped to our trash can that said how much he appreciated it and to wish us a happy holiday.

We had planned to take candy canes to the lady who cleans the bathrooms at ISA. When 400-500 people, dressed in soccer stuff which is usually messy and muddy, coming through everyday it would be hard to keep the bathrooms cleaned. They are immaculate! She carefully cleans them and even makes sure all the walkways are free of debris. She does a phenomenal job and has trouble walking. Since we forgot the candy canes we just went to her and made sure that she know how much we appreciated her work. She smiled and smiled and told us thank you in her thick accent.

Brown Bear's karate class always adopts a child, at a orphanage about 2 hours away, for Christmas. We usually adopt a teenager. Some years we have 2 but this year we only had one. We were so looking forward to all going. But sadly the mom of one of Lioness' teammates died very suddenly and the funeral was the same day so Lioness and I were not able to go. The ones that did go had a great time. They said the girl that we had loved her gifts and was so appreciative.

It was such a joy to watch the kids get so excited, even the big kids were watching out the window for the trash man, about blessing others and not being solely focused on themselves in such a me oriented society. And can you believe that I do not have a SINGLE picture of anything that we did. We still have more planned and hope to finish it through out the rest of the year. Maybe I can get some pictures of those (but don't plan on it!)

Compromise. Is it a good thing?

This week marriage has been on my mind a lot because I have been lots of people that are in various stages of marriage. Some that have been married several times already and really struggling with "what am I doing wrong?", others who have been married over 40 years, some who are setting the date for their wedding, and others who are apart 90% of the time and are still married.

I watched them as they related to each other and those around them and can tell you almost unequivocally that they all were willing to compromise, not their values mind you, but in everything else. And too me some of it was pretty huge!

Someone wise told me this summer (and I hope it is ok to quote her!) that she and her husband both have been married before. So this time around they realize that not getting upset over the little things are so very important to the longevity of the marriage. As I watched them together it was so sweet to see. He washes dishes, she does laundry. He helped the set the table and she oversaw all the little details. She invites 8 people to crash at their house and he rolls with it. I watched them in church and saw a very reticent man reach for her hand during worship time. Small to you maybe but HUGE to me because I saw the power of compromise, love and forgiveness at work here.

One of the couples I was around this past week have been married a long time. He has big plans for the retired life and how to get there exactly. She has big plans on a nice quiet life once he finally does retire. So the compromise? She lets him buy his merchandise and fill her garage full of it. She takes care of him when he lands himself in the hospital from over work. He lets her do anything she wants! hehe Together they are so incredibly awesome and I love being around them.

My parents have been married for a long time. Over 40 years. They are constantly compromising. He likes spur of the moment. She likes quiet (except when her grandkids are around!). She loves a clean house so he picks up. He likes certain foods so she eats the crazy things when he is gone or when she goes out. He calls her every single day on his way home from work. Love is such a beautiful thing!

What  do you think? Should you compromise? Even on some big things? Or do you subtly or not so subtly try to always make it your way?

Tell your husband he is awesome and one reason why. Bet he asks what you want!

The Game of Marriage

I recently stumbled upon a blog called To Love, Honor and Vacuum. If you decide to go over there be warned that it is about sex, christians, and marriage. I found it via a link on Pinterest that led to another and somehow I ended up there. Confusing right? So anyway to make this long introduction longer I started clicking around on there and read Wifey Wednesday where she generally has a guest poster and then a linky party to blogs with marriage posts. I was intrigued! You see I am a tip junkie. I love them! They almost always come back to me when I no longer need it. But dang it, it was there.

I was snickering as I read some of her posts and thought "I wonder what my friends would think if they knew I was looking at this". But I stopped when I came to Torn between two lovers.
It was something I needed to hear. Something that I struggle with a lot. I am a control freak. Stop laughing! I want my voice to be the Holy Spirit that my husband is following. But this post was saying the exact opposite. Be quiet? Let the Lord lead him? Be submissive? Totally foreign ideas to me.

I think so many people enter into marriage these days with the idea that they will change their spouse or if it doesn't work out then oh well. It is a game to them. And if they don't pass go and collect that $200 then they are out of here.

I am sure I had that idea. The I will change him part. I was in for the biggest surprise of my life. All those little things that slightly irritated me before marriage sent me through the roof after. I think he secretly tried harder to irritate me because I nagged him so much. Slowly I realized that it wasn't worth fighting over. I had bigger fish to fry so to speak. The part of being his "Holy Spirit". You know what I am talking about. Subtly (or maybe not so much) dropping hints about a new job, new car or bigger house. Maybe even smaller things like not going out with some friends because the Bible says he should cherish his wife and she has been home all day with the kids.

Marriage is not a game my friend and we wives are not his guide. It is a tapestry carefully woven by 2 people who love each other. It might have some snags or places where the threads were pulled a little tight but it is still beautiful if you are in it together!

I hope to post each Wednesday and link up with her linky party. Go hug your husband for no reason!

What to say....

I have been wanting to sit down for days and put up a new post. I had so many ideas and just no time. But the shooting in Connecticut and the ensuing arguments put me over the edge. So here I am. Posting about something that is horrific. Not even sure what to say.

I heard about the shooting at a Christmas cookie party. Just snippets. Little pieces of disturbing information. After the party was over I asked my friend if she had heard about it. I wanted to vomit after I heard what she said. Who does that? Why would they shoot kindergartners?

Questions and answers tumbled around in my mind. Horror vied with repulsion. I watched kids playing and truly could not fathom the depths of anguish and despair the families of those precious people were feeling.

I got on Facebook. I became very angry at what I saw. I didn't comment or post on anyone's status. I read news articles. Then I slammed the computer shut. I looked at the pictures of the victims. Then I begged God to come and take His children home. I begged him to stop the march of evil in our country and around the world.

I have read both sides of just about every issue that was immediately brought up. I have very strong feelings on this. On what should have been done. On what could be done. On what will happen in the future. On what our government will do. On whether I agree with that or not. This is not the place for me to debate that.

But one thing is clear. One thing that is so very crystal clear that I cannot keep silent on this. There are very evil people in this world. The evil that was apparent during WWII. The evil that was in Rwanda. No matter what kind of media coverage it gets, evil things happen every single day.


There is only one thing that can heal the hurting of mankind. God's love and forgiveness. We are so quick to say this or that. But how can we show love to hurting world. God's love. Love that sent His only son to die for us. He knows how these families feel. He weeps with them. Show that love today. We might not ever come in contact with someone who would do something this despicable, but you just might touch the life of someone getting ready to commit suicide, or someone who just needs a kind word today. As Christians we cannot sit idly by hoping that someone else will do what we should be doing.

Budget Plan other wise known as a slam dunk....not!

In August I started really looking at what we were spending in all the areas of our budget and decided that we needed to find something better than what I was doing. I needed a plan that always had some bread in the freezer for spur of the moment picnics or lunch on the run, something that planned for dinners on soccer nights where everyone ate at different times, something that everyone loved while staying in the budget and being somewhat nourishing as well. You don't think that exists? Well I put another demand on it as well. I wanted to feed my family of 9 for under $600 a month. Yep nearly impossible.

But I looked at nearly every pin on Pinterest that said anything about how to slash your grocery bill. Almost all of them were about serious couponing. That was definitely not going to work for me. I hate it! And if I hate it I am not going to stick with it. Period. Then I found this website and was completely intrigued. I read almost the entire thing in one afternoon. I checked out the books from the library and read them while the big kids played Laser Tag. Once a month shopping. Seriously! Crazy but I thought it might work. So I turned to Pinterest to help me plan a month of meals. This included breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was hard but I felt so much better when it was done.

Let the grocery shopping begin. We bought 3 basketfuls of groceries. 12 gallons of milk, 12 dozen eggs, and piles of other stuff. The kids moaned and groaned as we put up the groceries noting that I had bought lots of veggies and other "healthy" food and not lots of junk food.

The first 2 weeks went perfect, but ZK was paid again it was so hard not to go buy groceries. The next week was a little harder but still doable. The last week I thought we were going to starve to death. It wasn't for the lack of food, it was the lack of having quick snacks and still some poor planning on my part. But I got creative and we made it!

September was a little easier. I did better about having some mixes made up so we could make cookies or brownies quickly. I kept bread on hand and nearly eliminated all impulse buying (read Sonic at happy hour). I was so pumped that I thought October would be the slam dunk I was waiting for. I had even made tuna lime tacos with freshly fried shells that everyone ate up.

October came and two days before I was to shop ZK had the event that changed our lives. We had so many people bring us food. YUMMY food! JUNK food (super yummy)! The budget went out the window. Hospital food is kinda tempting and oh so yummy! (yep I am one of those crazies that LOVE hospital food). When we got home I realized I had lots of food at my disposal and could last us a significant amount of time if I planned better.

I think maybe the Lord had me start planning those 2 months in advance so I could stretch the food, that was so generously shared with us,and make it last longer. It will probably take several months to get us back on track completely. However I will forever be grateful that I started learning to plan monthly menus and have the will-power to stick with it.

I am getting more adventurous in just trying new things. Not everything will be awesome like the fish tacos but just knowing that keeps me keeping on. Someday I will have that slam dunk on the budget. The one that is so perfect that I save $25,000 a month while we only make $10,000 a year. When that happens you will be the first to know!

A change in perspective

You know how you are going along just fine and things are hectic, but no problems that you can really (or need to) complain about. Then you are checking out in Sam's and you get that voice mail that lets you know that the hospital has your husband after he was brought in from a motorcycle accident. Then the room starts spinning and you can't breathe and everyone looks at you like you have lost your mind and you think maybe they are right.

That is what happened to me 30 days ago. As I rushed to the hospital I could feel the edges getting black. As I called Lioness' coach to see if he could gather all my children at soccer practice and bring them to me I could feel the car closing in around me. While I was put on hold 20 times trying to talk to someone that could give me some information about the Zookeeper oxygen suddenly seemed like a precious commodity.

When I was finally able to see my husband I cannot explain the relief that rushed over me when I realized he wasn't dead, no head trauma, and he wasn't missing any limbs. Yes he had some serious injuries, but none he couldn't recover from.

My perspective changed that day. And in the days following. We were ministered too in ways, and by people, that we would have never guessed. It was amazing. Like balm in Gilead. Food, text messages, other gifts and visits from people concerned for us were showered on us with the Love of Christ clearly visible in all of it.

Two days after the zookeeper came home my grandmother had a stroke (or something like that) which left her completely unable to move. She could communicate with noises and slight shakes of the head. For the next 4 days we sat with her, unable to do much too ease her suffering, and watch her life flow out of her body. The last day or so we had people sleeping on the floor in her room, in the hall and anywhere else they could stretch out to rest but still be close. The morning she passed away, everyone had ran home to shower, etc. and I had just returned from dropping off Brown Bear at his welding class. The moment I stepped in the house I knew she had breathed her last. I walked back to the room and the aide's eyes met mine with the certainty I was right.

The next few days passed by in a blur. But once again people came and showed us how the church works together to minister to those in need. The funeral dinner was filled with people who loved us and laughter and rejoicing that my grandmother was with her daughter again and whole and happy! I spoke at her funeral and I am going to share just a little bit of that hear.

"It seemed that my grandmother's 94 years could just be packed away into 2 boxes and be summed up in 2 paragraphs. But really her life extends so far past that. It touched the lives of you standing here today. Your are here because you love us and we are here because she loved. Her life continues to have meaning because of us and where we choose to go from here."

Let our lives touch others today so that the legacy we leave is not packed away in dusty boxes but living in others!

MIA

I started this year with every intention of blogging every day. And I did. For about 3 months. Then life got in the way and once again the blog fell along the wayside. I hate that! I love to write and it almost always helps me organize my thoughts and put my brain in order. (wish it could do the same for my house!)

So to update you....

(And some of these may be duplicates because I am that good.)

We moved to a bigger house. That in and of itself nearly did me in. 3 days to move everything with the Zookeeper working every day of that. We had awesome help, but it was still so stressful. Add grandma to the mix. Yep it was that bad.

I continued to babysit 1-5 kids daily. The next to youngest started school this fall and I am not sure how I feel about that. We miss her and her sweet siblings. So we only have one once in awhile.

We went to Colorado for 2 weeks. Stopping on the way up to stay with this precious family. Good thing 6 kids and a crazy momma didn't stop them from opening their house to us. We had SO much fun!

The visit in Colorado was insanely busy with a 5k run at 7500ft elevation, trampoline place, swimming, eating, and lots of laughing. We really miss our family there! Plus we hung out with some long time friends we haven't seen in about 3 years. Awesome!

I now have 2 high schoolers. YIKES!! One is a junior and the other a freshman. I feel particularly old when I type that.

Brown Bear was accepted into the welding program at the local vocational school. He is super excited and can't wait to get there every. single. day. That is such a huge change from the last 2 years. I knew we just needed to find the right thing and I think we did.

Lioness, Monkey and I ran a 5k, with LA and another lady from our neighborhood, this past weekend. It really tugged at my heartstrings to watch them run together. They crossed the finishing line holding hands. Triumphant together! As family should be.

Soccer has started full force. With our 2 competitive players, we now also have an academy player. So much work, but again when I watch them play it makes me so happy that we let them chose their own paths and they are supremely happy playing soccer. The coaches, the players, the parents. We love it all and so do our kiddos.

My niece was born early in May. She was so tiny. Now she is so chunky and completely made up for her rocky start. Darling!

I have another niece due near Christmas. I can't wait to see her! Babies are just so perfect!

Grandma just keeps plugging along. She suffered some ill-effects from a fall, but has recovered mostly. She is so sad now though and it is hard to watch her eyes lose all signs of life and hear her constantly call for help when she doesn't know what she needs or that there is even anything that we can do for her.

I hope to blog more. Maybe weekly. However I just noticed that we have had over 7,000 page views. So you know what that means? Oh yeah! A give-away! So what should I do? hmmmm.......